Life Connection Counseling | Family
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Family Tag

  In Part I of this series, we looked at the unique strengths of a man.  He seems to have the ability to do things that are right and noble even when he doesn’t feel like it.  This makes him a good protector, servant leader and servant of God even when things are tough.  God knew what He was doing in the design of man.

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  However, we also said there is an enemy who sees a man’s strength and is out to exploit and pervert this strength.  The ability that man has to separate himself from his feelings can be good in some settings but can also be limiting in his ability to form deep and meaningful relationships.

[caption id="attachment_495" align="aligncenter" width="470"] by Brent & Janis Sharpe[/caption] "Statistics show that nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce (US Census Bureau, February 2002)." PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING can help couples avoid becoming part of that statistic. LCC offers pre-marital counseling here in Tulsa, OK. AND if you are...

This is a continuation of our series looking at the different types of unhealthy parental messages described in the book Cutting Loose,  by Dr. Howard M. Halpern.   Today we will look at “unloviing parents.”

All of us have had experiences in life where we have felt unloved, misunderstood or uncared for at times.  Which, as long as we live in a fallen world will be a universal experience.  But, there are those who have experienced parents who seem to have a deficiency in either their ability or desire to be basically loving and caring. It is of these that we speak today.

unloving parents

It’s that time. The stores are having the biggest sales of the year! Television commercials show us everything that our loves ones desperately want for the holidays. Hallmark, telephone companies, and even coffee companies show us how perfect the holiday is. They show happy families that do anything just to be with each other for the this season. Unfortunately, for some of us, that doesn’t reflect our reality. Holidays can be an extremely painful time either because we don’t have family or because we do have family!! Here are some tools to help prepare and help make the holiday season as pleasant as possible:

In our years as marriage counselors, one of the things that grieves us over and over is how many wonderful, well-meaning couples do things that sabotage their marriages. They can be praying and believing for all the right and best things for their marriage, but their behavior actually works against all that they are praying for. We talk a lot in our marriage seminars about how to build our marriages, but if we are tearing them down at the same time, it’s a little like bailing water with a leaking bucket. Here are a few of the things that we see that are counterproductive to our marriages:

Divorce and separation are difficult situations not only for the adults but also can be devastating for the children involved.  Divorce is the break down of the family system as the children have always known it to be.  Webster defines breaking as “to separate into parts with suddenness or violence, to destroy unity or completeness of”.   Children can feel a sense of this suddenness and disunity when one night their parents are together and the next they are not. It is true that children are resilient and can work through issues of divorce with help from counseling however ignoring or downplaying how divorce impacts the child can be devastating and smaller issues grow into larger problems if not addressed.  The worst thing for parents to do is to not discuss the divorce or separation with the child or only brush over it with a one-time discussion about how things are going to change.  Both parents need to discuss these changes with the child(ren) and the changes will need to be addressed multiple times. It is important to recognize some signs of concern for the child and bring them in for help: