19 Feb Divorce
If a marriage doesn’t work, what happens after divorce? Divorce is a common occurrence in our culture. A person is left with loneliness, lowered self-esteem, anxiety about the unknowns, and difficulty forming new intimate relationships. The way you chose to handle and recover from your divorce will set the course for the rest of your life. Research has shown that there are 6 common pathways in exiting divorce.
20% of people will grow more confident, be more well-adjusted, and self-fulfilled. They show a remarkable ability to bounce back and create something meaningful out of problems.
This is the largest group of divorced people. They show some strengths and some weaknesses. If they have a problem, they try to solve it. However, they are not as good at planning and are less persistent than the enhancers.
One year post-divorce, 40% of men and 38% of women can be classified as seekers. These individuals are motivated to find new mates as soon as possible.
People in this category often spend more time in singles bars and in casual relationships than their counterparts. They can easily become disillusioned with their sensation-seeking lifestyle.
The Competent Loners
10% of people are well-adjusted, self-sufficient, and socially skilled. However, unlike enhancers, competent loners have little interest in sharing their lives with anyone else.
Some of these individuals had problems before their divorce, and these problems increased after the break-up when the added stress of a failed marriage was more than they could handle.
If you are struggling through a divorce, or trying to recover after a divorce, counseling can help throughout the transition process and the healing that occurs after.
Teresa Kirchner, LMFT