Life Connection Counseling | Marriage and Family Therapy
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Marriage and Family Therapy

  In Part I of this series, we looked at the unique strengths of a man.  He seems to have the ability to do things that are right and noble even when he doesn’t feel like it.  This makes him a good protector, servant leader and servant of God even when things are tough.  God knew what He was doing in the design of man.

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  However, we also said there is an enemy who sees a man’s strength and is out to exploit and pervert this strength.  The ability that man has to separate himself from his feelings can be good in some settings but can also be limiting in his ability to form deep and meaningful relationships.

[caption id="attachment_495" align="aligncenter" width="470"] by Brent & Janis Sharpe[/caption] "Statistics show that nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce (US Census Bureau, February 2002)." PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING can help couples avoid becoming part of that statistic. LCC offers pre-marital counseling here in Tulsa, OK. AND if you are...

I recently had a client lamenting the fact that her mother didn’t seem to know how to get beyond surface deep.  That no matter how much her daughter wanted to share with her on a deeper more intimate level, the mother would always revert to surface talk.  The daughter was frustrated by the inability to have a quality relationship with her mother and the judgemental nature of their conversations. I found myself saying to her, “You, know some people only live three inches deep.  They will not allow themselves to go beyond that depth for fear of touching on issues or emotions that they don’t know how to deal with.” Woman-child-GARDENING-LOW-REZ

This is a continuation of our series looking at the different types of unhealthy parental messages described in the book Cutting Loose,  by Dr. Howard M. Halpern.   Today we will look at “unloviing parents.”

All of us have had experiences in life where we have felt unloved, misunderstood or uncared for at times.  Which, as long as we live in a fallen world will be a universal experience.  But, there are those who have experienced parents who seem to have a deficiency in either their ability or desire to be basically loving and caring. It is of these that we speak today.

unloving parents

Children caught in the middle of a divorce or separation many times feel they are being juggled between homes, schedules and different expectations from each parent.  This can lead to feelings of being a burden or inconvenience.  Parents can help their children through this difficult time by avoiding some of the common traps in learning to parent together successfully. Parents need to realize they cannot assume a child understands expectations or rules or anything about a divorce or separation situation. Helping Your Child Through Divorce

As parents, we want our children and adolescents to behave appropriately and be responsible for their behaviors. When our children and adolescents misbehave, we want them to understand why those behaviors are unacceptable. So, we want to give consequences, but it is important to make sure we are imposing consequences that will alter behaviors.  If parents are going to use consequences, they have to realize why they are using consequences and understand the significance of making the consequence “fit the behaviors” if you will. Parents Reading to Laughing Boy

February 14, Valentine’s Day,  is the time of year where we consider romance and its impact on our world.  Recently, Janis and I went to a romantic comedy and found, once again, the entire story about the on again off again stumblings of a couple falling in love.  It always seems it is not until the last scene that they know the “magic” has struck and as the scene fades the obvious message is, now that we are “in love” the rest of life is “happily ever after”. love2

If you or your spouse is experiencing extreme ups and downs in your marriage despite constant commitments towards changed behaviors, you may be dealing with an underlying condition called ADHD.  ADHD is a neurological disorder that affects the way a person thinks and behaves.  The good news!  ADHD can be successfully treated when one combines education about the disorder with medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Symptoms can be effectively managed, therefore decreasing stressors in the home. ADHD post